sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
