If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
