I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
