This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
you never un-have a 4some
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
