Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
