so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
