There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
