East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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