I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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