Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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