I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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