Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
