I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
