Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
