The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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