my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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