I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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