And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
