Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
