The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
