Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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