i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
