Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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