i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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