Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
