I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
