Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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