Just fell off a train. Bad.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
