you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
