have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize