OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
