We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Small penises have feelings too.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
