I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
