I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just invented taco cereal.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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