you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
