Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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