At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Randomize
