Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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