I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
