Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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