I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
