And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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