Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I cut my penus on the lid.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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