I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize