But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
