absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
