sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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