i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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