i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm at about main and main street
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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