i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
