But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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