someone threw a dead crab at me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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