They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
