i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
