have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
