I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
